We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
