My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
