I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm too high and old for this...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
