If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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