It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
