When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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