Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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