So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
What a dumb baby whore.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
