omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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