And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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