i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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