She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
