what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
