im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
