Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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