Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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