She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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