Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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