the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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