Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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