So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
