I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
