just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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