A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
