I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
