Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
