It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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