i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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