some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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