only if we run a train.
done.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
