I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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