That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
