Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
