So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
