so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
