question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
