No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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