Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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