I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
