jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
