Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
