Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
