hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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