So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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