I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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