Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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