Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
