You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
