she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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