I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
