Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
