I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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